Horrible Histories - Norman Family Tree

Here's the tale of me. Matilda
And my fight with cousin Stephen to succeed
Henry first's throne

My wife's also called Matilda
Quite confusing 'cause we choose to claim
Matilda's throne our own

I'm Henry that Matilda's son

You got that?
Here's th story of our spat

Starts in 1135, when king Henry, my father died
And I think you'll find named me, Matilda, as his heir
But his nephew, Stephen, said
That crown should be upon my head
I'm a man and men come first
What? It's only fair

Had married Geoffrey of Anjou
Stuck in France not Waterloo
When Steve without a voulez-vous
Took throne from me
Should be dancing queen
Oh stop causing such a scene!

Gimme, gimme crown and take a chance on me
I'm heir to the throne not you! Ah-ha!
Think you'll get it back
Now that I'd like to see!

Oh, I do, I do, I do!

Fought in Lincoln
She caught me
Was pro-claimed first English Lady!
But she made many enemies
Remember me? I'm Stephens wife

Made royal councilors agree
That she lacked bare femininity
Took Stephens army and besieged her!
Eugh! More strife!

I was trapped so faked my death!
Hid in coffin, held my breath
Escaped!
You think that I'm impressed?
Well I'm not
Just look who I've got, your half brother
Want to swap?

Gimme, gimme hubby
And we'll fight again
The winner takes it all! Ah-ha!
In Oxford I'll besiege
And I'll escape and then
I'll join the battle call!

Age 14, I fought but lost
So Uncle Stephen stayed as boss!
Who should be ruler, mamma?
Mia! Here we go again!

Sadly my darling Matilda
Caught a fever and it killed her
I gave up my dream
To build a royal dynasty!
When my son died
Had no heir which was a bind!

Gimme, gimme crown
'Cause next in line it's me!

You can have it when I'm done! Ah-ha!
So Empress Matilda never did make queen
The throne went to my son!

Knowing Mum, knowing you!

Everybody happy? Good!