Horrible Histories - Georgian Lady

A gorgeous georgian lady, is quite a sight to see
For some splendid beauty tips, pay attention listen to me

White is beautiful dear ladies, smear your face with paint of lead
Never mind the lead had made the men who mixed it ill or dead

Take some silk of red or black, cut a circle or a cresent
Stick it on your face to cover, smallpox scars, it's much more pleasant

Shave your eyebrows, clean away, take a trap and catch some mice
Make flash eyebrows with the mouse skin, stick them on, you'll look so
Nice
Next you need a monster wig, if you want to look real smashing
Once your wig has reached the roof, then you'll be the height of fashion

Decorate your lovely hairpiece, use the feathers of a parrot
Add some ribbon, fruit and flowers, from your ear then hang a carrot

Make your face look soft and chubby, pack your mouth with balls of cork
Hang your flash teeth in the middle, hope you don't choke when you talk

Now you followed my advice, last of all you need a fan
Flutter it oh so demurely, then your sure to bag your man